A New Day Has Come..

I’m not sure if this is a right decision to make. I hate my current college and therefore, I ain’t furthering my studies there anytime sooner.

On the side note, I am actually quite fed up with studies. You see, when your friends of your age already graduated and earning big money, buying car or their own and is able to support themselves, you’ll felt like wanna start working and be as good as them too. 

But for me, I’ve made too many wrong decisions in my life. From choosing the wrong stream, to choosing the wrong college, and to choosing the wrong course. How I’d wish I could patch these mistakes up with needles and thread but the mistakes are too severe that it is slowly destroying my life goal, and my future career.

I wish that my studies could just stop within an instant but having your parent blowing too big balloons around the territory, I had no choice but to continue to head to the wrong path. 

It is slowly decreasing my morale. Going to the UK isn’t ideal at all. It wasn’t even my first choice.. Why? I don’t like oweing 10 years worth of loan to banks. I hate mortgaging my beloved house for my studies. The responsibility was just too big… If anything happen to my studies in the UK, where do my parents gonna stay in the future? but at the same time, I can’t stand seeing how my other relatives laughing and showing off how clever their sons/daughters is compared to my sibling. I can’t stand seeing my family being laughed at for such stupid reason. It hurts me a whole lot.

Having a clever sister didn’t help much. She, too, was against me going to the UK. She, of course, wanted to be the best among us - which I strongly think she already is. Going for 3 months already pisses her off enough but a fucking whole year means its a big mental distraction to her.

I know, having full support from my parents to go to the UK is a dream come true to everyone; but how come I didn’t think so? People wanted to go so badly but didn’t had the chance to whereas me, I am able to go but I’m still slacking off. 

Now the decision is up to me. To stop studying? Or to go for Southampton? Or Derby? Or Wisconsin? It’s just killing me!

Posted on September/25/2012
Tagged as: personal, education, family, emo, random, rant,

  1. yxonumei posted this

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